


Silence

by Saanak



Series: The Unspoken [2]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, pre-movie stories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2020-01-14 13:39:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18477352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saanak/pseuds/Saanak
Summary: They didn’t talk about it, because they didn’t have to.ORSnippets of their life together, before everything.





	1. Prologue

They don’t talk about it. They don’t talk about how well Carol fits in her life. About how well she takes up the mantel – never really worn – of co-parent to Monica.

They especially never speak of how well their hands fit together – never too long, never too public, but still _there._

There’s really no point putting a name on the nights when Carol is so taken by Maria’s smile that she can’t resist kissing her over and over.

No point addressing Carol being the one getting up to comfort Monica after a nightmare – and coming back to bed, embracing Maria, _belonging._

* * *

 

They didn’t talk about it, because they didn’t have to.

So when the ghost of the woman she had given her heart to comes back from the dead six years later, she truly has no one to talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I first posted this, I didn't exactly know what I was going to publish after. Thus, this prologue may seem extremily sad and angsty, but I promise that the stories that follow are rather sweet - or downright pure fluff.  
> Let me know what you thought!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, I actually kept my word and turned this teeny tiny thing into a slightly bigger thing ! (thanks Puigeth for the suggestion (you said "whole chapters", i raise you... "tiny chapters"), and Wearerobin90 for the encouragements!)  
> As per usual, not beta-ed, all mistakes come from my tired French brain.  
> Enjoy some much needed Carol x Maria content before Endgame rips our hearts.

They had just finished watching a silly movie that made them both laugh to tears. It was the first time in several weeks they had time to unwind, and neither of them had felt like going to Pancho’s.

Carol was imitating one of the actor’s terrible accent and Maria was desperately trying to stop giggling.

When Maria finally managed to subdue her laughter, Carol was looking at her with a strange kind of intensity, eyes soft and searching.

“May I kiss you?”

What a world-shattering question. The answer was obvious; they had been on the verge of _something_ for months.

They didn’t talk about it, because putting words on what was happening meant acknowledging that there was _something_ to talk about.

But there Carol was, not only acknowledging it, but kicking down any pretence that she didn’t want it.

And while Maria was used to see Carol’s focused stare, whether on planes, other people or on her, the calmness that accompanied it was much rarer.

She must have taken too long to answer, because Carol broke eye contact, suddenly looking unsure, and started backing away from Maria.

“Yes, you may” she whispered, and for a second, it seemed Carol hadn’t heard her.

But a smile bloomed on Carol’s face, and she was back to teasing as usual. “What’s that? I’m not sure I heard you right.”

Maria sighed, relieved and uncertain all at once. “Yes Carol, you may kiss me. And you better hurry, or I might change my -.”

Carol kissed her slowly, and just as slowly ran her fingers through Maria’s hair. And wow, okay. That was… incredible. She barely contained a purr of satisfaction, knowing she would never hear the end of it if Carol realized how much that specific gesture affected her.

The blonde stopped kissing her, a satisfied smirk in place. “Enjoying yourself Captain Rambeau?”. Tone oh so very smug. That woman would be the end of her.

“Not quite yet, Captain Danvers.” Two could play this game after all. Carol gaped, seemingly outraged at the very notion that Maria wasn’t enjoying herself after such attentions, but Maria didn’t let her reply. “Jury’s still out, but there’s a chance she _might_ enjoy herself if you continued such treatment.”

Carol’s eyebrow rose to the challenge. “As you wish”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Princess Bride came out (ha!) in 1987, so either in this timeline they got together quite lately, or they both read the book? idk  
> I also have no idea how fast one gets promoted in the military (esp in the US Air Force) so I made them both captains already.  
> Please don't hesitate to comment or kudo, if you would like to further discuss all things Maria x Carol i'm also on tumblr as alexdumas-ghost !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm posting this now because I'm seeing Endgame tomorrow night (pros of being a European, for once!) and I have no idea what will be my emotional state after that :")

The first time Carol stays the night – as in, officially stays the night, and doesn’t sleep on the couch like she usually does when they get home a bit too drunk – _that_ first time, Monica is a little over one, and has been sleeping through the night for almost 6 months, to the huge relief of Maria.

Or so she thought.

She feels like she’s just gone to sleep when her daughter starts crying in the room next to hers. She’s half-awake when she realizes Carol’s arms are around her and how safe she feels. The arms hold her tighter for a second, Carol dropping a feather-like kiss on her shoulder, then release her.

“I’ll get her, you can stay here”, the blonde whispers.

Maria’s certainly not about to protest and only hums her agreement.

She wakes up later, unable to tell if she’s been asleep for a few minutes or an hour. Carol isn’t back, but there’s no sound coming from the other room. She regretfully leaves her bed, not exactly worried but feeling the necessity to check up on her daughter and her… on Carol.

She finds Carol carefully carrying Monica around the room, talking about her day in a soothing tone that seems to be quite efficient at calming down the crying baby.

And sure, at this point Maria knows what she’s feeling for Carol. They never mention it, but well, Carol was in her bed a few minutes before. They can hardly call their relationship platonic.

But seeing Carol in a borrowed t-shirt going down to her tights, whispering non-sense to Monica and putting her back to bed, Maria has an epiphany.

Carol finally notices her and smiles softly. “Hey, go back to bed”, she whispers, approaching Maria. “Not that you need the beauty sleep, but –“

She wishes she could say “Marry me”.

She wishes she could make Carol Monica’s other mother.

She wishes… she could say “I love you”.

Instead she just grabs a handful of that borrowed shirt and kisses Carol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all weren't expecting regular updates because my brain just doesn't work like that so.  
> Please enjoy !

On month 7 of her pregnancy, Maria was cursing the man who had knocked her up and left - even more than she did at the beginning. It was mostly due to… everything really. She was tired all the time.

On month 8 and a half, she’s had enough. Not that she can do much about it.

* * *

 “Hey, how are you doing?” Carol enters her home in the most casual way – she’s had a key to the place for almost 2 years now.

“Like the planes we dream to fly rolled over me”. Maria’s way too tired for something over than raw honesty.

“Wow, planes, several? At the same time?” Carol teases, sitting beside her on the couch, putting 2 cans of non-alcoholic beer on the table.

“Alas no”, Maria answers dramatically, “they’re rolling over me one by one.” Carol winces in sympathy while Maria eyes the beers. “And why are you drinking non-alcoholic beer, you hate that stuff as much as I do, and _you_ don’t have to drink it”.

“Well, I would drink the good stuff, but I’m afraid you’re gonna end me if I actually do”.

Maria considers the declaration for a few seconds and nods. “You’re right, I would probably try to strangle you”.

Carol opens the beers and hands her one. “Well I like my neck as it is, so, cheers!”

Bottles are clinked, terrible beer is drunk and Maria still can’t find a comfortable position on the couch. She knew pregnancy was not a fun deal, but no one had told her she would be uncomfortable for _so long_.

* * *

 Carol watches Maria fidget for a minute or so, and finally offers “Hey, do you want a massage?”. She’s trying to ask that casually, but massages are a thing they _don’t_ do. It might lead to dangerous territories, at least in Carol’s mind. It’s just one of their many unspoken agreement.

But seeing Maria being so uncomfortable calls for a break of the agreement, Carol decides.

Maria also thinks so, if the speed at which she answers “God, yes please” is any indication.

Carol pats her own thighs, and Maria hops her feet, reclining on the couch like she’s been waiting to do that the whole time, her fake beer long forgotten.

“Comfy?” Carol asks, amused at her friend’s eagerness.

“Get to work, Danvers” is the grumbling reply she gets, so Carol gets started.

A few minutes in, Maria is humming her appreciation, stretching like a satisfied cat. Carol stops for a few seconds, only to be ordered “Don’t you dare stop that”. Followed by a timid “Please?” that has Carol laughing.

“That little one better come out soon or you’re gonna turn into the Grinch before we know it”.

Maria doesn't answer for a few seconds, then asks, watching Carol with tired yet focused eyes. “Luckily for her, her Grinch-mom might be considering asking someone to be her non-grouchy godmother? To, you know, balance things out?”

Carol tenses. “What are you…? Wait. You want _me_ to be her godmother? But I thought you didn’t want…”

She distinctly recalls Maria saying that she didn't want the kid to have godparents.

“Hey, hey, no need to panic” Maria reassures her. "I know what I said about godparents, it’s just… I would be calmer if I knew she had someone in case something happened to me. You don’t even have to answer me right now.”

Carol nods slowly and resumes her massage, deep in thought. A few minutes later, Maria is sound-asleep. The woman barely gets any sleep these days, and Carol lets her rest.

She thinks of Maria, of what will become of their lives after that child is born. Until that point, she had been terrified that Maria wouldn’t want her to be involved in the kid’s life. But the reverse is as scary – she’s not godmother material!

She needs to get up and pace, but Maria’s legs are still half on her laps and she’s certainly not about to disturb her, so she sits still, oh-so-very-still, her thoughts all over the place for what feels like ages.

“You’re thinking so loudly I feel like Professor X from the X-Men” Maria complains, her eyes still closed.

She can't help but smile at that. Maria only references comics when she's overly tired.

“Sorry, I’m processing.” She doesn’t even dare look at Maria, afraid to see disappointment in her eyes. Carol would do anything for her – and that applies to the child too, she realizes. But being given a title adds a whole new level of official-ness to the deal.

“Good” is all Maria says, sitting up slowly, removing her feet from Carol’s laps.

Carol finally looks at her, confused. Maria is watching her with soft eyes. “I know you don’t have the best track record with family. And with our line of work, there _is_ a non-zero chance that something will happen to me. I appreciate that you’re taking the time to think it through.”

The rush of affection – of love – Carol feels coursing through her is overwhelming. She’s known since the very second Maria asked what her answer would be.

She might not be godmother-material yet, but she’ll be damned if that stops her from being the very best godmother a child could ask for.

A slow smile appears on Carol’s lips. “Maria ‘Photon’ Rambeau, please know that it would be an honor to spoil your child until we’re both old enough to develop gray hair, and then some.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chapter got away from me, I just wanted to write a massage story and ended up with this. I feel like it's kind of all over the place? I might edit it later.  
> Also, I have seen Endgame and its biggest flaw might just be the MASSIVE absence of Maria and Monica (just kidding, so many things kinda wrong with this movie, but Carol's haircut ain't one of them) so I might try to write something to correct that? We'll see.  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it took me so long to update, if you've been watching the Carol x Maria tag you might have noticed that I've started a new series so I put a little bit less focus and energy on this one (at least I don't leave you hanging since those are all one-shots).  
> I hope you will like this one!

It’s a quiet night in the Rambeaus’ household. Monica was put to bed hours ago and they’re doing the dishes when a slow dance comes on the radio.

Carol stops washing. She looks furtively at Maria, then goes back to washing the plates.

Of course Maria notices. “Where’s your head at?”

The question is embedded in their routine now.

“Dance with me?” Carol asks in a small voice.

“I dance with you every time we go to Pancho’s.”

“I know that, but they don’t have slow dances at Pancho’s. I want to slow dance with you.”

That declaration _does_ stop Maria from drying another dish. She’s known Carol for years now, but those moments when all of her bravado is gone and how gentle she is underneath shines through still surprise her.

She puts down the towel and lets herself be led between the living-room and the kitchen, the only place where there is some free space.

She muses while Carol takes her hand that they’ve known each other for years, and never done this. Maybe it’s because it has always seemed too intimate to be done in front of other people.

Maybe it has to do with how Maria feels ablaze when Carol places her hands on Maria’s hips, as if for the first time. Or the way Carol almost purrs when Maria joins her hands behind Carol’s neck. She almost blushes like a schoolgirl when Carol turns her head slightly to press a kiss on Maria’s arm.

There’s so much adoration in Carol’s eyes it takes her breath away.

“So are you just gonna stare at me, or are we dancing?” Carol asks, because _of course_ she would break the mood and her own awkwardness with a joke.

Maria steps even closer and buries her head in Carol’s shoulder.

They oscillate more than they dance, really, but the quietness of the evening and Carol’s body heat put her in a state of contentedness like she’s rarely experienced. In that instant it’s just her and Carol and the knowledge that their daughter is upstairs and she feels complete. She has no idea how long she’s in that state, but when she snaps out of it…

“The music’s stopped.” she notices. Or rather, it switched to something rock and roll.

“I know,” Carol replies, amused.

“I love you.” She doesn't mean to blurt it out like that, but it's true - more and more everyday.

Carol looks at her like she hung the stars in the sky herself – or like she created an entire new type of plane from scratch. “I know.”


	6. Chapter 6

After Monica is born, Carol is obviously the one driving them home, and Maria has never, in all the years she’s known Carol, seen her friend drive so carefully. Carol is driving _below_ the speed limit and takes all turns with great care. It probably has to do with the fact that baby Monica - so tiny and fragile and already the center of Maria’s universe – is sleeping in the car seat they installed on the back seat.

“You know, she’s probably not going to wake up just because you take a turn at 40,” Maria says, amused at her friend’s behavior.

Carol barely takes her eyes off the road to give her an unamused look. “It’s the first time there is a _child_ in this car, Maria. Not only that, but she’s my god-daughter and your daughter and I will certainly not take any chance on the road with her.”

Maria looks at Carol, _really_ looks at her, like she hasn’t done in a couple of days because, well, she was kind of in the middle of bringing a new human to the world, and notices the dark circles under Carol’s eyes.

“Have you slept at all since we got to the hospital?” she asks, feeling like she already knows the answer.

“Of course I did.”

Carol is many things, but she’s not a good liar, not when it comes to Maria. And surprisingly, she seems honest when she says that. The blonde continues, “I know I don’t look like it, but I did sleep. I wouldn’t have driven you both home if it wasn’t the case.” And Maria knows it’s true, because she’s quickly coming to the realization that Carol is serious about her role as a god-mother, even more so than Maria expected her to be.

They finally reach Maria’s house, and a wave of tiredness washes over her. Baby Monica will probably need feeding soon, and if Maria could get even five minutes of shut-eye before that, it would be heaven.

“Hey, could you take her for a little while? A nap would really do me some good.” She asks while exiting the car.

Carol, right behind her, tenses, then gulps. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Maria considers her friend, surprised. Carol looks nervous, even more so than she did while driving. Maria suddenly understands.

“You’re afraid.”

Carol scoffs. “Me? Please, we test planes for a living.”

“Then come on,” Maria unclasps her daughter - it feels strange to even think the word, she’s a _mom_ now – from the car seat and carefully present her to Carol, “take her”. Her best friend looks ready to run away.

“I- I can’t. What if I hurt her?”

Maria looks Carol in the eyes. “Hey, you won’t, alright. Support her head and don’t let go, and you’ll be fine.”

Carol does as instructed, and ends up with the tiny sleeping human in her arms. “Hi there”, Carol murmurs, as they enter the house.

“I’ll let you both get acquainted.”

She doesn’t feel like going upstairs, and the couch of the living room looks so comfy that her decision is quickly made. She’s asleep the second her head hits the pillow.

* * *

 

She’s awaken an hour later by a slightly panicked Carol and a crying Monica.

“Sorry, I didn’t know what to do,” Carol explains, and the terrified look on her face almost makes Maria laugh. Her fearless - laugh at the face of danger - best friend is terrified of a child.

“S’okay. She’s just hungry.”

Carol gives Maria her daughter back and retreats to safety, next to one of the armchair. “I should go, give you guys some time alone,” she declares, before making a beeline for the door.

Maria manages to catch her hand. “Hey, thanks for driving us home.”

Carol smiles softly and squeezes her hand. “Anytime.”

“You’re welcome to stay if you want to.” Maria adds, because by now, surely Carol knows that she’s always welcome, but Maria also knows that Carol doesn’t want to intrude.

“Thanks, but I have to go buy a few things. See you tonight?”

Maria nods, and redirects her attention to her daughter, before thinking of something and shouting towards the door “Carol, she’s 3 days old, you’re not allowed to spoil that child already!”

She hears Carol’s laugh just outside – signaling that she’s heard her – but there’s no acknowledgment of her demand.

Monica wiggles in her arms, demanding attention and nourishment, and Maria murmurs to her child  “Your godmother’s gonna be worse than your grand-parents, I can tell you that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I spend 30 minutes checking if car seats already existed in 1983-4 and what they looked like? You bet I did (in case you're wondering, they became mandatory in the US in 1985, and tbh, they didn't look very comfy).  
> Lemme know what you thought!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, I know I've been a bit MIA, but you know how it is, life and stuff... Anyways, I still wanted to post a little something for Christmas, so here it is!

Maria is three months pregnant when Christmas time arrives. With all that was happening in their lives, the holidays have basically sneaked up on Carol and Maria and neither has really prepared anything.

So there they are, with some kind of poultry in the oven and cheap non-alcoholic wine in their glasses.

“Come on, it’s Christmas, you should make a toast!”

They’re both well aware that it’s only 8pm on Christmas Eve, but Maria tires quickly these days.

Carol raises her glass, looking at Maria pointedly. Maria sighs, and grabs her glass, not quite raising it yet.

“What are we drinking to?”

Carol considers for a moment, taking in the scenery. They’re both sitting on the couch next to the plastic Christmas tree Carol insisted on buying. The decorations are sparse and it looks as though they’ve been installed at the last minute – probably because they have, Carol having spent the afternoon installing them.

Finally, her eyes land on Maria. Her friend is wearing comfy pyjamas, and looks quite cosy, but Carol sees how tired Maria is. Between her pregnancy, her break up with Richard and her parents’ disapproval of both the pregnancy and the break up, Maria doesn’t sleep well.

There’s not much Carol can do about any of those problems, but she can always try to alleviate Maria’s spirits – hence the decorations, and the celebrations, even if it’s just for her and Maria’s sake.

“To your little one.”

Surprised for a moment, Maria hums in agreement and clinks their glasses. She stays silent for a while, and Carol knows not to disturb her when she has that look in her eyes.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” Maria finally says.

 “For what?” Carol asks, intrigued. “If it’s for the decorations, they’re all yours, I just put –“

“I am not talking about the decorations.”

“Oh.”

“Well,” Maria amends, “I guess I should also thank you for that, even though the house has never looked so awful.”

“Hey!” Carol interjects, pretending to be offended.

When Maria adds nothing, Carol probes gently. “Go on, you were going to say why you’re so thankful for my amazing self.”

Maria snorts and with a deadpan expression declares “Suddenly I’m wondering if your ego really needs that boost.”

“Probably not,” Carol shrugs. “But it can’t hurt to hear you sing my praises,” she adds with a smirk.

“I know I’ve been… a bit difficult to handle this past month –“

“I mean, the fact that _I_ had to do _all_ the cooking for a _whole month_ was so terribly awful!”

“Carol?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

Properly chastised, Carol mumbles a sorry and lets Maria carry on.

“Between my parents and Richard, it’s been hard, and I can’t thank you enough for staying by my side,” Maria declares.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Rambeau,” Carol says while squeezing gently her hand. “Come hell or hormonal mood swings I’ll be there.”

They both chuckle, and share a look – one of those looks that Carol doesn’t share with anyone else, and that always make her long for something she’s not sure she understands.

She’s pulled out of her daze when Maria says “Carol?”

“Yeah?”

“I think something’s burning.”

And as she runs to the kitchen, she hears Maria’s laugh. They’ll be alright, even if it’s just the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short but that's all my stupid brain was willing to produce, so. As usual comments and kudos are appreciated! (Plus it's Xmas so, you know, spare comments for a wild author?)  
> Feel free to send me prompts on tumblr (@ alexdumas-ghost) or in the comments!  
> Happy Holidays y'all !


End file.
